addressed comments from the public review

docs/source/whitepaper/corda-platform-whitepaper.tex

@@ -23,7 +23,7 @@
 
 \begin{abstract}
 
-A distributed ledger made up of mutually distrusting nodes would allow for a single global database that records the state of deals, obligations and other agreements between institutions and people. This would eliminate much of the manual, time consuming effort currently required to keep disparate ledgers synchronised with each other. It would also allow for greater levels of code sharing than presently used in the financial and other industries, reducing transactions costs for everyone. We present Corda, a software implementation which is designed to achieve these goals, and a network to which Corda nodes deployed by a broad range of operators can be connected to be assured of mutual interoperability. This paper provides a high level introduction intended for the general reader and supersedes its predecessor, `Corda: An Introduction'\cite{CordaIntro}. A companion technical white paper\cite{CordaTech} elaborates on the design and fundamental architectural decisions.
+A distributed ledger made up of mutually distrusting nodes would allow for a single global database that records the state of deals, obligations and other agreements between institutions and people. This would eliminate much of the manual, time consuming effort currently required to keep disparate ledgers synchronised with each other. It would also allow for greater levels of code sharing than is currently typical in the financial and other industries, reducing transactions costs for everyone. We present Corda, a software implementation which is designed to achieve these goals, and a network to which Corda nodes deployed by a broad range of operators can be connected to be assured of mutual interoperability. This paper provides a high level introduction intended for the general reader and supersedes its predecessor, `Corda: An Introduction'\cite{CordaIntro}. A companion technical white paper\cite{CordaTech} elaborates on the design and fundamental architectural decisions.
 \end{abstract}
 \newpage
 \tableofcontents
@@ -33,7 +33,7 @@ We envision a future where legal agreements such as business contracts are recor
 
 This paper introduces the Corda platform. The Corda platform consists of an open source software project, Corda, and a set of standards, network parameters and associated governance processes, which together define the global Corda Network. Collectively, they enable any organisation or individual on this open network to transact directly with any other. Uniquely, this architecture is designed to model and automate real-world transactions in a legally enforceable manner, and do so across an open network on which multiple applications can execute and seamlessly interoperate. It does so whilst placing identity, transaction finality, privacy and open governance at its core.
 
-The end state vision is one where real-world entities manage legally-enforceable contracts, and transfer value without technological constraints or loss of privacy. In contrast to unpermissioned blockchain platforms, the Corda platform is intended to manage real-world transactions between identifiable parties, with privacy and legal certainty. In contrast to other `permissioned' blockchain platforms, the Corda Platform is intended to allow multiple groups of participants (and associated applications) to co-exist and interoperate across the same open network. The network's governance model is explicitly designed to reflect the common interests of the diverse user-base of the platform.
+The end state vision is one where real-world entities manage legally-enforceable contracts, and transfer value without technological constraints or loss of privacy. In contrast to `unpermissioned' blockchain platforms, the Corda platform is intended to manage real-world transactions between identifiable parties, with privacy and legal certainty. In contrast to other `permissioned' blockchain platforms, the Corda Platform is intended to allow multiple groups of participants (and associated applications) to co-exist and interoperate across the same open network. The network's governance model is explicitly designed to reflect the common interests of the diverse user-base of the platform.
 
 To facilitate settlement of obligations arising from contracts managed on the platform, the Corda platform enables the issuance, transfer and redemption of cash-like liabilities denominated in real-world currencies where regulation allows. In addition, the architecture enables the issuance of native assets and tokens on the platform which can be used to incentivise adoption and participation, pay for services and can be either platform-wide or specific to particular Business Networks\footnote{See section \ref{businessnetworks} for a definition} operating on the broader Corda network.
 
@@ -125,7 +125,7 @@ We talk and think in terms of the `state' of `agreements'. That is: not just a c
 
 \begin{figure}[H]
 \includegraphics[scale = .4, center]{partiesto}
-\caption{In the diagram above, we see a state object representing a deposit of \pounds100 at a commercial bank, owned by a fictional shipping company. The state object refers to the contract code that governs its transitions, which is likely to be written once and reused by huge numbers of states, and can refer by hash to its governing legal prose and.}
+\caption{In the diagram above, we see a state object representing a deposit of \pounds100 at a commercial bank, owned by a fictional shipping company. The state object refers to the contract code that governs its transitions, which is likely to be written once and reused by huge numbers of states, and can refer by hash to its governing legal prose.}
 \end{figure}
 
 \subsection{Consensus}
@@ -210,13 +210,13 @@ Whilst the overwhelming majority of power lies with Corda users themselves, or t
 
 For example, in Bitcoin, the size of the maximum permitted block is ultimately arbitrary within some boundaries. Yet it is an arbitrary figure upon which all participants in \textit{the} Bitcoin network must agree. In the absence of a well thought through and administered governance process to decide on settings such as this, operated by and for the participants in the network, gridlock or conflict can be the result. To avoid a similar outcome, the purpose of the Corda network's governance process is to ensure it is always clear how such disputes can be mediated, by whom and in whose interests.
 
-However, in the end-state of this vision, a huge number of nodes and business networks will be transacting significant volumes of business and value across the globa Corda network. So it is not sufficient merely to \textit{claim} that the Corda network will be operated for the benefit of its users. It must be the case that it \textit{will} be so operated. Channeling Google's ``don't be evil" mantra, our vision for the Corda network is that it be operated so that it \textit{can't be evil}.
+However, in the end-state of this vision, a huge number of nodes and business networks will be transacting significant volumes of business and value across the global Corda network. So it is not sufficient merely to \textit{claim} that the Corda network will be operated for the benefit of its users. It must be the case that it \textit{will} be so operated. Channeling Google's ``don't be evil" mantra, our vision for the Corda network is that it be operated so that it \textit{can't be evil}.
 
 To that end, an open governance model will be established in a series of stages and effected through a ``Corda network governing body", whose composition is intended to be representative of the users of the Corda network. The committee's responsibilities will include: to take over the definition, management and updating of network parameters; to agree rules for the issuance of identity certificates; and to set common standards for notary consensus pools.
 
 \subsubsection{Network Parameters}
 
-Corda users need to agree on certain technical parameters that must be the same for all nodes in order to communicate successfully. These range from the trivial-and-arbitrary like port numbers used for firewall traversal, to the more impactful, like how quickly members agree to upgrade their nodes when a new feature is introduced and how to use privacy features like Intel SGX. Although these sound like unimportant technical points, they are configuration parameters of the Corda software precisely \textit{because} they are things upon which reasonable people could disagree, as happened with the Bitcoin block size debate. As such, the parameter-setting process could rapidly become politicised. It is, therefore, a priority to move responsibility for setting, maintaining and updating these parameters to the Corda network governing body once established.
+Corda users need to agree on certain technical parameters that must be the same for all nodes in order to communicate successfully. Examples include the maximum-allowable message size, how quickly members agree to upgrade their nodes when a new feature is introduced, and how to use privacy features like Intel SGX. Although these sound like unimportant technical points, they are configuration parameters of the Corda software precisely \textit{because} they are things upon which reasonable people could disagree, as happened with the Bitcoin block size debate. As such, the parameter-setting process could rapidly become politicised. It is, therefore, a priority to move responsibility for setting, maintaining and updating these parameters to the Corda network governing body once established.
 
 \subsubsection{Identity}